The Federation Tribune - July 2006: additional article.

[Rob Versteegt]

                  ==== The Federation Tribune ====
                           ==== July 2006 ====
                            ====Addition====

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Editor's Notes:
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ack! Forgot to send something along with this issue of the Tribune which
should have been sent along. Well, here it is! Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you know. . .? By Rob Versteegt.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you know that Frontier Fleet is filled with juicy rumours? Some of them
are true, and some of them. . . aren't. But that doesn't matter. It's the
rumour that counts! So, without further ado, let's see what's -supposedly-
happening in Frontier Fleet!

USS Calhoun.

On the USS Calhoun, people have started switching bodies. What is up with
that? Didn't they like it in their own bodies? Well, apparently not, since
the teenager Ray Callahan is now in the Captain's body. He must like it in
there: what wouldn't a hormone infested young man like in the Captain's
body? Still, rumour has it that this has caused tension between him and his
girlfriend, who happens to be in a sturdy security officer's body. Poor Ray.
He is an attractive woman, and his girlfriend is a manly man. Let's hope for
his sake that the situation gets resolved quickly, so that he can once again
ogle at his girlfriend, instead of at himself.

But there are other strange things happening on the Calhoun (believe it or
not). For example, the Chief of Operations now suddenly found herself with a
slug in her belly! That's right, she woke up in the body of the joined Trill
Dr. Leal. Think of all the juicy details she could now find out about the
good doctor. She would know what kind of men the doctor likes, -rumour has
it Leal was in love with the ship's Second Officer-, what she likes to eat
for dinner, and of course most importantly. . . all the embarrassing
situations Leal has undergone. Hmmm, maybe we should have a talk to Chief of
Operations Keening once they this situation is resolved. . .

USS Odyssey.

And then what about the USS Odyssey? What's up with those guys? They have a
crewmember there -CONN Greystone, who got promoted because the previous
CONN, Alex Davis, left the Odyssey to go to the Valkyrie: a rather
interesting choice to say the least, but we'll discuss that later-. Anyway,
Mr. Greystone has been reported to walk around with only one arm, after his
artificial arm was destroyed by a Romulan disruptor blast. And with only one
arm, he got promoted to Chief of CONN? What was the Captain thinking? Let's
hope Mr. Greystone gets a replacement arm soon, otherwise he might have to
pilot the Odyssey with one hand and. . . his nose? Or should he use his
feet?

There have been a great number of transfers to and from the Odyssey lately.
One cannot help but wonder why. Commander Denebris -the ship's former FO-
has been promoted to Captain of the Valkyrie. Lieutenant Davis, previously
Chief of CONN of the Odyssey, has also transferred to the Valkyrie, as Chief
of Operations. Commander Jalando, previously First Officer of Pandora
Station, has been transferred -supposedly against his will!- to the Odyssey
to be First Officer there. Together with him were transferred a new Chief of
Operations, Lt.Cmdr Arquette -did Mr. Helfrump not do his job correctly?-, a
Communications Officer, and a Xenologist. Lose an FO and a Chief of CONN,
and gain a FO, Chief of OPS, Comm-officer and a medical expert. Sounds like
a fair trade to me. . .

The aforementioned Commander Jalando is supposedly not happy about his
transfer. He just keeps saying that he liked Pandora so much, and rumour has
it that he wants to return there as much as he can. Naturally, that means
bad news for the Odyssey. After all, one of the reasons for the Intrepid
class Starship to return there, is to undergo repairs. Get it? Will Jalando
actually sabotage the ship, so that there will be damage? Only time will
tell. . .

And then there's Lieutenant Helfrump, who was replaced as Chief of OPS. Why?
What did he do wrong? There's something there that Starfleet's not telling
us. Okay, most things we do not get from Starfleet, but still. . . why has
Helfrump suddenly be assigned as Assistant Chief Engineering Officer, under
the new CEO, Lt.Cmdr Dirk Pitt? Could this have something to do with that
'seminar' Mr. Helfrump had followed on Risa, a couple of months ago? Since
nobody goes to Risa just to visit a seminar, we suspect that there's more to
Lt. Helfrump than meets the eye. . . has his behaviour on Risa been
unbecoming a Starfleet officer? We don't know. But we'd like to! If you have
any information about this, please contact us!

USS Valkyrie.

Ah, the USS Valkyrie. The ship of misfits. That nickname alone makes it a
worthy subject to gossip about. It could also be called the ship which loses
its Captains. What is it. . . 4 Captain's in less than a year? 5? We lost
track. Let's just hope that Captain Denebris won't get bitten by the Curse
of the disappearing Captains. . .

But why transfer to the Valkyrie anyway? On board that ship, things do not
go as they should. Rumour has it that there is a trial going on. Charges
against the entire crew, or something like that. Seems as if the crew chose
two crewmembers to act as a scapegoat. Lieutenants PaRel and Schofield. They
're almost certain of losing their jobs at Starfleet. Good! When they're
done there, they can come and work for us. Think of all the rumours they'd
have for us!

USS Atlantis.

And then over to the Atlantis: the senior crew of the Akira class Starship
has been ordered to take command of Deasian convoy ships. A nice detail to
know is that each commanding officer of one of those ships can name that
ship whatever they like to. Some sort of Deasian ritual, apparently. Some
names are just strange though. For example, why did Commander Paul Velden
name his ship the "T'rinna"? Rumour has it, that this was the name of one of
his former girlfriends. Unfortunately for the Commander, that relationship
broke up. Now let's just hope that the same won't happen with this T'rinna.
. .

Did you also hear the rumour about the Ambassador on the Atlantis, 'Von
Kinky' as we call Ambassador Von Klinkerhoffen? Apparently she has been kept
out of the loop, deliberately. Or that's what the rumour tells us, anyway.
How the Captain could get away with that without igniting Von Kinky's wrath,
is still a mystery to us. It's also a secret which, no doubt, other Starship
Captains want to know as well. Ambassadors, after all, can be a nuisance. .
.

A murder has been committed on board the "Remember Edan", which is commanded
by the Atlantis' Second Officer, Ms. Andersson. Not recently though, but
still. . . a skeleton has been discovered in one of those closets! Details
about this discovery are vague at this point, but either this was some sort
of strange burial ritual -do those Deasians always burry their dead in
closets?- or this was some sort of hero worship. Maybe being locked in a
closet means you're a hero? As we said, the details about this are very
vague. Maybe it was just a skeleton used by a scientist on board that ship,
to see how the Deasian skeleton looked like. Still, it's a strange place for
such a skeleton, if you ask me. . .

Pandora Station.

And finally, we go to Pandora Station. Since most of the staff was
transferred to the Odyssey, it would seem that there is a shortage of
personnel over there. No OPS personnel? No Security staff? What is that
station coming to? And then there's the new Captain: Captain Denorian
Berann. Not the most pleasant man around. No wonder there is a shortage of
personnel!

Did you also hear about the monster in the Jeffries Tubes? That station
seems to be haunted! Several crewmembers have reported strange sounds and
sightings. A green monster seems to be lurking in those never-used parts of
the Station. And why is it never used? That's right, the monster is there!
It would seem that this monster moves between crew quarters and the
Engineering decks. Watch out Engineers!


Well, that's it for now. See you next time! And if you hear any rumours, don
't hesitate to contact us!

=====